How to use dilators at home for vaginismus

Can vaginal dilators actually help you treat your vaginismus from home?

If you are someone who struggles with pain during tampon insertion, notices tightness or a brick wall sensation with attempts at penetrative sex, or you've always had a fear of inserting your own finger, then dilators will be helpful for you! Vaginal dilators are some of the most reliable tools for helping you relax your pelvic floor muscles and train your vagina to be able to experience pain free intercourse and pain free pelvic exams. 

In this simple guide, you will learn steps on how to use your dilators at home to help you overcome vaginismus and live fearlessly with your body so you can enjoy sexy time, actually look forward to sex, and feel more like a boss in the bedroom!

How do you clean your vaginal dilators when using them for vaginismus or painful intercourse?

You can clean your dilators with soap and water. You can also opt for a sex toy cleaner if you prefer to use a soap made specifically for silicone. However, what's most important is that you clean your dilators with soap and rinse them after every use to decrease your risk of introducing harmful bacteria into your vagina. To avoid getting a urinary tract infection or yeast infection, wipe off all lubricant and always wash your dilators after every session. 

What's the best position to be in when using vaginal dilators at home?

The most strategic and comfortable position will be laying on your back with several pillows under your back so you're propped up and not laying flat. You should be propped up enough so that you can easily reach your vulva and pelvis. This will prevent you from straining and feeling awkward when trying to use your dilator or your hand to release tight pelvic floor muscles. 

Next, be sure that you bend your knees and then relax your knees out to the side as if in a butterfly position. Let your legs flop out to the side to prevent your pelvic floor muscles from tightening up. If this feels uncomfortable or causes pain on your inner groin, then place pillows under the outside of your knees.

Using vaginal dilators can help you insert a finger, use a tampon, and get a pelvic exam without pain

Remember that using vaginal dilators for vaginismus is not all about sex. Vaginal dilators are extremely beneficial if your goal is to be able to insert a finger, tampon, sex toy, or get a smear test or pap smear. Vaginismus is a pelvic floor muscle disorder and not a sex disorder. So vaginal dilators are tools to help you enhance your overall pelvic health and even your self esteem!

How do you insert your first dilator when you're afraid or feel anxious?

It's very common to feel anxiety or a fear of pain when you're getting ready to insert your dilator. Here is a list of 5 steps that can help you calm your nervous system and use your dilator successfully.

1. Grab a mirror to have beside you to help guide you with your anatomy and knowing what you're looking for.
2. Start of with diaphragmatic breathing exercises to help decrease anxiety, relax your pelvic floor and help you feel more relaxed before inserting your dilator. Check out my blog on my fave 5 pelvic floor relaxation exercises for vaginismus here. Or browse my my shop here and grab the Breathwork & Bathing Suits Vag Stretch lab for a 1 hour class on breathing to help relax tight pelvic floor muscles. 
3. Put a water based or fragrance free lubricant on your dilator and also around your vaginal opening. Using enough lubricant can help decrease pain, friction, and tension with insertion of your dilator.
4. Relax your anus and your vagina like you want to let blueberries start falling out of your vagina. If you squeeze, tighten, or clench- imagine the blueberries getting stuck inside. When you relax, let go of your anus, and soften your vagina like you're letting blueberries fall out of you- this will make insertion feel easier.
5. While inserting your dilator, focus on keeping your vaginal walls soft and your pelvic floor relaxed. As your dilator is going in, continue to focus on breathing and relaxing your muscles that surround your dilator.
6. Once your dilator is inside, you can try and relax to let it rest inside for a while or you can practice with in and out movements.
7. Try to focus on not just relaxing your pelvic floor but also relaxing your mind and trusting your body. This is KEY! Your mind & thoughts can drive more pain & pelvic floor tightness. Try to stay open, mind included. You got this!

How do you know when it's time to go up on your vaginal dilator size?

It's safe to go up on your dilator size when you are noticing minimal to no difficulty with three major areas. 

1. Time. It's taking you very little time to insert your dilators and you no longer feel like you're forcing your dilators inside.
2. Pain level. You no longer feel any significant pain with initial insertion or with full insertion.
3. Movement. You feel comfortable moving your dilator in and out with minimal to no pain.

Affirmations for pelvic healing & vaginismus when you are struggling with dilation

•Vaginismus is curable for me.

•My healing has not passed me by. I'm healing even in this very moment. Healing starts in the mind.

•I trust that my body is safe, my body is good, and my body is on my side.

•There's no shame in seeking help for ailments that are too heavy for me to carry alone.

•I give myself grace, love, discipline, and hope. I give myself permission to believe.

How can I keep learning more about ways to overcome vaginismus? 

Learning about sex education, your pelvic floor muscles and your sex anatomy can absolutely help you de-code vaginismus and heal! Join my private email club to continue learning from us about ways to move past vaginismus & live life on your terms!

How do I know when it's time to work with a pelvic floor physical therapist for my vaginismus?

You don’t have to struggle with vaginismus or your dilators alone, if you are simply over it.

1. Are you feeling stuck? Are you struggling with the same dilator size for months to years, making you feel lost and frustrated on how to move forward?
2. Do you find it lonely and isolating to stay motivated enough to keep dilating without guidance, support, and a sense of community to help you?
3. Has it been years of struggling with vaginismus, despite seeing several doctors or pelvic floor therapist?
4. Do doctors, family, and friends invalidate you when you share your struggles with vaginismus, making you feel crazy for not being able to "push through" the pain or simply "relax"? 
5. Are you in a relationship that is now suffering due to vaginismus and feel like this condition is coming between you and the one you love?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, it may be time to call in the experts! You also don't have to wait until it gets to that point. If you are ready for a spicier and vaginismus free future, then you'll save time, energy, distress, and heartache with the right support system! We can help you beat vaginismus without even leaving your home!

We at Vagina Rehab Doctor are a team of *specialized* pelvic floor physical therapist who zoom in on vaginismus and painful intercourse through our one-on-one telehealth coaching programs!

Our clients are international, spanning from London, UK to Chicago, Illinois to San Francisco, CA to Mumbai, India to Atlanta, GA to Johannesburg, SA to Toronto, Canada to Dallas, TX and beyond! Your location isn't a barrier for us.

This means you don't have to leave home to get our support for vaginismus treatment! We can help you with screening your pelvic floor muscles for dysfunction, interventions for calming neuromuscular fear and sexual anxieties, developing effective pelvic floor relaxation exercises to open you up, teaching you hands on skills for progressing through dilation, pelvic wanding and MORE!

If you’re suffering with vaginismus, vulvodynia, painful intercourse or tight pelvic floor muscles- we are here for you and are trained to help you overcome!

We would love to help you say goodbye to fear of pain and hello to a life free from vaginismus! Hello, seggscations...Hello, new sex positions! Hello, tampons of any size! Hello, pregnancy! That is all possible for YOU. 

We believe in you. More importantly, we believe in what we can do TOGETHER!

Click HERE to learn more about our 1 on 1 virtual coaching programs for vaginismus cancellation!